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The Sushi Snobs have downed tools. No more do they yield chopsticks and smear wasabi paste under their eyes to camouflage themselves from the barbarian burger-eating masses.

Now, I like a good cup of tea as much as the next person. Since when do we scoff and stick out noses up at the Glen and Joko we all grew up with? We’ve reached a new, albeit deliciously steamy low where we look down on people based on their choice of hot beverage.

Twinings does a great range of flavoured teas: strawberry and mango, blackcurrant, lemon and ginger. I’ve been putting actual lemons and grated ginger in my tea for years and the same people who looked at my cuppa in disgust now simply would ‘die without Twinings’.

I especially have a bone to pick with the so-called Chai Tea Enthusiasts. You guys do know that ‘chai’ means tea in Mandarin, right? It’s not chai tea. Just chai. Only the purists drink plain chai. Our pretentious asses only drink vanilla chai. And it’s never just vanilla chai. It’s always Woolies Vanilla Chai and Lord knows there aren’t enough pens in the world to write about the Woolies Snob.

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